It, in and of itself, isn't one of the reactants, but it will speed up the consumption of the reactants you're each putting in - and if one of those reactants is contaminated, if one of you is not honest, or you have differing expectations or anything like that - being non-monogamous will uncover that impurity, if you will, and make it a lot more evident much, much, much more quickly. I'm realizing as I write this that the technical side of the metaphor breaks down, lol (sue me, I'm not a chemist by trade), but non-monogamy kind of acts like a catalyst. As time passes, the reactants, well, react and form something new, but based on various factors of what you put in, the relationship works better or worse, more or less efficiently, if you will. Time is like, well, time (I can extend the metaphor). The principles that make your relationship work are like the elements of a chemical reaction. Rather, they're like an accelerant or a catalyst.

In truth, I have observed that monogamy or non-monogamy don't actually, like, change the principles that make a relationship work. The passion in most respects was still there - we very much loved each other - but other things made the continuation of that relationship nonviable, and so the fact that we were monogamous meant nothing. Personally, I will never be in a monogamous relationship again - I was in one for 5 years, and it was sexless for half of that. At the same time, the details of every relationship - monogamous or not - is going to be a little different in practice. There are no differences in principle between the two. You have to be willing to treat your SO with the same respect you treat yourself, and they have to do the same.

My current relationship has actually never been monogamous in principle - we've been actively open, though we're both super lazy, and polyamorous on paper since the get go, though are, again, too lazy to date multiple people.Īs others have said, a healthy non-monogamous relationship looks exactly the same as a healthy monogamous one because it is founded on the same small number of principles that you have to adhere to in order to make it work long-term - you have to have direct, open and honest communication about your needs and wants at essentially all times while also respecting the needs, wants and perspective of your significant other.

Non monogamous marriage is healthy